A Britland secret service gadget guru named “Willow” and his inferior sidekick “Kashmir”, invented the Batmans timber in 1624 for numerous Federal Ball Investigations. Since it’s availability to all cricketeers it has destroyed many a pitcher and smashed home runs galore!

The cricketball scientist that configured the awesomeness now has two representatives at every match-up, in their white coats, ensuring the use of such advanced weaponry is controlled and safe. The timber itself has many special features:

  • The rubber safety harness attached to the handle of the timber ensures the weapon does not slip during combat, allowing for maximum precision and reduction of the recoil.
  • The “grain” inserted into the timber maximizes power awesomeness. Scholars suggest that 7-9 grains ensures the balance between durability and large leatherskin yardage striking.
  • The swell spot is mythical zone on the timber that has been told to be the source of Homerun Heaven. Many a Batman wishes to understand and find it on their timber, but only the lucky cricketeers will ever experience and harness its true power.

To enhance the timber abilities a cricketeer must pour sand down the front of the blade and then massage oil onto its face, a ritual that blesses the timber by the cricketball Gods and ensures safe passage onto the turf. A Batman will then put a leatherskin in a sock and bang the timber to awaken the grains and locate the swell spot.

Cricketeers from generation to generation have wielded the armament in many forms and used it on many missions. It is this diversity and flexibility to the playoff situation that has proven its success to this very day. We must thank Willow for his invention that changed the world forever, a truly inspirational cricketballer. Rest In Pads buddy!

@UScricketguy

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