KANGAROOS CREMATION CUP CHAMPIONS

 

With Kangaroo President Michigan Clark on a hot streak of randomizer nickel flick victories, Ally Cook had to get his spin rate determination on point. It was however a denial call again by the Brit President forcing them to pitch first for the third time in the series. I don’t’ care what y’all say, the flick off challenge wins and loses you testing matches. So dude practice the currency launching technique already! The Kangaroos had no 1st string draftees, but the Brits again opting for a double roster switcheroo, with the recall of Tim Breznanny & a primary Testing for Ben Stoked!

The Old England Patriots came out of their locker room pumped! Jiminy Wickets enforcing an AWESOME home-base destruction play from the “middle-pitcher zone” position, completing the run-out of Crisp Rodgers and showing the Ozlanders they can play some swell cricketball still! The Kangaroos were feeling the heat in Perth Town 360 degrees around them and committed multiple swing felonies to see them five strikeouts down for just 143 points. The coolest man in the Collywood Hills then came to the plate… Will Smith! A tonnage friendship point score by the BadBoy (111) and Brad Haddon (55) steadied the rocket-ship, firing them to a 385 point team totalage and involuntary innings termination.

Brit lead-off homies, Carvery (43) and Cookie (72), chowed down with some meaty blows and some smooth gravy like swinging. Dining was interrupted by a decision timber destroyer from Ryan Harrison-Ford, he Raided The Lost Arc with Carvery attempting an evade swing but hitting the leatherskin onto the plate. The next strikeout saw a dose of Cremation Cup Controversy! Joe Rooster sending an erect decision finger to the TMO after he tickled leatherskin to the backstop. Thermal imaging showed no contact but Hit-o-Meter technology heard a slight tickle, which meant the Ballpark Erection remained. The Kangaroos smelt blood and went for the KO! With the pitcher zone looking more and more like the Grand Canyon strikeouts came as fast an American Muscle! VRROOMM! The Britlanders left 134 points behind at half time.

The Brit pitchers needed to chop the Ozzies down early with decision timber destruction and cause a roster TIMBERR! It was not easy with their #1 seed thrower, Stuart Broad-Shoulders, in the Crematorium after a 145+ kilo per second MJ cleat seeker that crushed his toes. Floppy Green Caps raced to a lead off friendship tonnage points combo with Shane Warner Bro. proving the Tazmanian devil again with some swell homerun hitting for his own tonnage. By the time Shane Whichson got to the plate the Triple Tigers were on their paws. He smashed 103 from just 108 pitches clearing the maximum point judgmentation line 16 times! They don’t call it the Perth Town Whacker for nothing! He was struckout with some Cremation Comedy as he sent the leatherskin to the space station and back for Belly to fumble… Whichson was then caught ball watching between bases and was then run-out short of home plate when the decision twigs were dislodged. It was the only laugh the visitors had though as more home run hitting from George W. Bailey left them needing 504 points to prevent a Cremation Cup calamity at the turn.

Into the final quarter, President Cookie with a Golden Quacker as Ryan Harrison-Ford beamed down an unstoppable decision timber destroyer. Strikeouts again came easily for the Ozlanders until Kevin Pete & Sons ltd. swung swell but went for a homer to convert a half tonnage but was intercepted short of the maximum point judgementation line. The Brits needing to find some AWESOMENESS from somewhere… The sweet sounding Bell added a half tonnage but his uppercut swing was intercepted by the backstop. Triple Tiger freshman Ben Stoked (120) came out the locker room fighting. He swung sweller than any other of his roster this Cremation Series. The youngSTAR proving he’s got the KAHOONERS for Testing Match cricketball with the first Triple Tiger tonnage of the vacation. YOU ROCK BUDDY! With the pitcher zone requiring safety harnesses, the Brits couldn’t hold on any longer. The Old England Patriots terminated 150 points behind, the Kangaroos completing their Cremation Cup Capture! The Brits whacked at the Whacker!

KANGAROOS RULE BRIT-ANNA! They are Cremation Cup Champions and end years of hurt! A 3 & DOHH soccer scoreline leaves the Brits on the canvas and out for the count. STRIKKKKEE 1… 2… 33333! YOUR OUTTA HERE! With two more Testings to play can the Ozzy franchise convert a 5-zero White Tumble-Dry! Theres only one way you buddies will know… @UScricktguy will be there every pitch of the way!

 

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@UScricketguy